Monday, February 1, 2016

Midlife student crisis

This is Rose, not me.  
I was just reading about her at Ned Hardy.  She's 83 and back in school so at least I can feel better about not being the oldest student alive.
Have I told you lately how much I hate school?  
I especially hate school because I really have no need to go back to school except for my place of employment has demanded everyone have a Bachelor's degree in 5 years.
I'm almost 50....
I don't find school fun, exciting or enlightening.   
I find free time exciting, not midterms.
I find using my extra hard earned money for vacation and liquor exciting....
not for text books.

I have no interest in getting a Masters degree or such....
I am interested in saving for retirement and my little home

this shit pisses me off

But I'm glad Rose is enjoying the life of a student.
Good for her....
plus I think college is free when you are her age.
Good for Rose....

Saturday, December 19, 2015

goal for next year? write ...

I'm funny!  I just went back and read some of my older posts...hysterical  
I'm like a comedian and shit.  
I'm not sure if it was just a weird time or if I really am funny, but we are going to find out

Here's the deal.   I'm an RN at in Gastroenterolgy and pre proceudre etc.   Some days I work in the Colonscopy room.   Thats shit is funny

so   we are going to perfect our writing skills again.

yes we are...just like this guy

Monday, October 26, 2015

Forget your Pumpkin Spice...Try Siracha/Rooster Pumpkin Seeds

Today I felt like a little holiday something somethin wuld cheer me up, and because drinking liquor at 9 am is not acceptable on a Monday at my house I made these instead.
Rooster/Siracha Pumpkin Seeds.....

The family carved the pumpkins and I saved the seeds.  I had seen a post on one of cooking groups about different seeds and the ways to cook them.  Previously my pumpkin seeds had been tough, often burnt, and just not that great.  This new recipe I tried was/is perfect:

Pumpkin seeds
soy sauce
siracha or spicy sauce ( I bet Franks would be good)
I added DEATH SAUCE because I love spice
and vegetable oil

Preheat the oven to 40 degrees
Boil, yes BOIL the seeds for 10 minutes in a pot of salted water.  This makes the outer husk of the seed more crispy instead of tough.  Drain the seeds then toss in a bowl with vegetable oil and the flavors of your choice.  If you choose to do sweet, don't use too much burns.

Toss everything in a bowl, then pour onto a parchement or foil lined baking sheet and cook for 20 minutes.
Remove and cool...then eat....Yum

Good with beer, good with margaritas, good with wine, not so good with milk.
(just a little advice)
Really good with Caramel Apple Sangria, which is so easy to make and the recipe is over at  The Wholesome Dish.
So good, I drank an entire pitcher this weekend and to tell you the hangover, must be all the vitamins in the cider.  

write ya later,

Friday, September 25, 2015

Don't be Cunty

Lately I have been receiving flack for using my ever favorite offensive word......


Go ahead , shake your head.....but it's a great word.  Not sure why it's so effective , but it is.  It rolls off the back of the tongue like a thick loogie.  
It's thick, that's the best way to describe the word.

try it....say it out loud

Someone the other day stated that someone else was being "cunty" and I about died laughing.
It's perfect and the description fit to a tee.  
There is not another word in the human language which will stop a women in her tracks so quickly.

Apparently it is a word not special to the English Language , but to all.
Here, check out Cherish the Cunt . ( you are welcome for that much needed history lesson)

I'm apparently not the only one
memes galore

So , today...
try not to be cunty,
and if you know someone who is being cunty....
tell them to just stop it
 or better yet...
send them a meme

write ya later,

Sunday, February 15, 2015

I run so that I can drink....the truth of the 46 yr old female

Let me tell you something.... I love my body.... I'm 46 years old, and that is closer to 50 than 40... Although at our age, 40 is irrelevant too.    I'm small.  I'm 5' and under 114#.   But I work at it.   I run. I work out ( occasionally)   I have a fear of gaining weight,  middle age weight,  fuck you.    I hear you.... I hear you saying, " you will never be big ".  Well let me tell you something.   I enjoy eating.   I run so that I can drink beer.  Every time I run, I look at calories burned and drink and eat accordingly.    Up to this date I have friends whom have never ever seen me eat solid food.  

 I stood in front of the mirror yesterday and said ....word  for word,    "I look boobs are saggy, my nipples are probably too big due to breast feeding, my tummy is still pretty sexy, my labia not as pert as it once was.....but all in all.... When Walmart compared....nice. "

So I listen to my middle aged friends, male,   Talking about women.....their wives.  Etc....  Wtf?   Do we talk about the men like that?   We love a rock hard big penised man....but we also love a soft big belly man.....penis or no penis.   Are they nice?   awesome...funny?  better yet...I'll take Him!

I'll never understand  my mentality that I'm not ok....
Why am I not ok?
This, of course is the big hoopla of Cindy Crawford.. Super model   48 years old, no photo retouch
gorgeous....I agreee.... she has a lot going for her without the photo retouch
very nice.... 
this is me
46.5 years old... 2 big fat kids and absolutely no photo retouch or good lighting

no photo retouch
46 years old.
I criticize myself every day.and I'm not some sort of gym rat....
this is just a few push ups, and a run around the block three times a week
am I happy    ??

does my husband think I'm Cindy Crawford?
does he look at other woman

It's just our own mentality.

this is what this 46 year old looks like.....
I may not be the norm...
but this is it.
Ive had 2 very large kids and I'm 5' tall
it is what it is.
I'm not ashamed, but I want you to know I do work at eating healthy and satying active.
But this does not make me happy

I want you ro know what I hate.  
 judge and talk amongst our friends .... its ok.  tell me too.
I hate the way my boobs sag.  I hate that my nipples are too big.
My vagina.... I had two almost 10# kids, vagina adjusted, I did not....
chin hair?   oh please... it sucks.  
but my calves?   they are nice....
my abs?   not bad...I'm guessing genetics.
but still
at 46.5........ i'm still uneasey

compare and feel the strength. 
 fuck it

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Too tiny for middle school

It's been a while, but I'm still here   Chugging along.  Making life go on   Which is something I have to do... Well , because it's life.   Right?  Right

Here's something to think about.  I took my daughter to middle school orientation.  She is toooooo small for middle school !   She's a puny lil thing with the biggest personality so I'm guessing she will survive .    Her friend kept saying , " don't worry , everyone will love her because she is so cute"
No, no no.
First thought ; how to make her ugly so no one thinks she is cute , but then I realized that is pretty shitty .
She pointed out that she really could fit in the locker and how will she reach the top shelf.
That's when I realized .... She's just a little kid. She had no worries.  Except the height of the top shelf

Listen , Olive,   You will reach any shelf you want to reach   I swear

Damn kid ;)
Next time we will make fun of my parenting fail with the teen

Friday, August 29, 2014

All over again and again

I start all my processes back over this next week
Everything is so expensive.
Its a wee bit stressful
My kid was diagnosed with Asthma which costs another couple grand even with insurance.
My hubby is back to his old shenanigans
I have nice size lump in the other boob now
My son has been living with his dad and I miss him
We fight a lot in this house.
I wish I could just run away.
Turning a blind eye isn't working as much anymore
I long for someone to hug me and pat my bottom and tell me i'm awesome, beautiful, and enough
When I look in the mirror
i cry